This is not easy to do. Instead, many of us get trapped in one of two ineffective patterns. And, unless resolved, they may cost you more than you can afford! That applies to each and every one of us, yet it is never too late to... Take Action!
First is the blame game. We are not response-able, because we are too invested in trying to prove we are right. My pointed finger is an attempt to convince you of how wrong you are. The problem is, now I have two problems! The original issue goes unresolved. And - the bigger issue becomes my self-righteousness and your defensiveness!
Also, if I get stuck in the blaming mode, I feel like a victim. It is a trap that robs focus and joy. Relationships flow easier if rather than assigning blame, I invest my energy in creating solutions! I am only free to discover new perspectives when I pop out of the right/wrong trance.
The second equally dis-empowering pattern is taking on too much responsibility for what has happened. When taking on too much, I assume everything is my fault and I am burdened with the weight of the issue on my shoulders. Typically, martyrs become worn out and resentful. At the same time, if I take on what belongs to you, I deprive you of potential growth.
Radical response-ability is an invitation to ... let go of being a burden-bearer or playing the blame-game. It is ... reclaiming my God-given gift to be response-able. That includes responding instead of reacting to circumstances…enabling me to co-create with others. No longer feeling like a martyr, I have more energy to develop the life and relationships I want. And, by letting go of blame, I see others as capable - and; I can encourage them to walk in ... their potential, instead of my criticism.
~~~ Heavenly Father, I need your help so that I can embrace radical responsibility. Help me to "take the log out of my own eye" so that I can clearly see others from your loving perspective. Soften my heart, so that instead of trying to convince others how wrong they are, I seek to understand their point of view. And, I am reminded Jesus, that YOU are the great Burden-Bearer. Thank you that I can give you the people and situations that are weighing me down. Help me Jesus, to accept my human limitations. I praise You that you reveal your Strength when I am willing to release the burdens I carry to You. Amen!
Until next time,
Blessings, Deb
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